Confessions of a Twenty-Something F**k Up / 5

Embracing life's unique timeline, plus some fab K-Drama recommendations!

Dear Reader,

As I floated on my back in the pool, staring at the blue skies adorned with crisp white clouds, and occasionally, the distant planes, relaxation eluded me. My mind was filled with relentless stream of everything I had supposedly done wrong, or was currently doing wrong. In my head, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was somehow living life incorrectly.

I have a confession to make, throughout the entire period when I was supposed to be unwinding in the water, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of an acquaintance who was about to get married. Should I be doing this, too? I couldn’t help but ponder. It left me wondering, why I, someone who had never felt the need to conform to the conventional life script, was suddenly contemplating the necessity of following a similar path?

The truth is, I am on the wrong side of my twenties, single, and without marriage on the horizon. As per society’s standards, I am nothing but a failure, a complete f**k up! It makes me wonder if a woman can be truly considered a woman if she doesn’t embark on the path to marriage and motherhood? Is a woman even seen as a woman if she doesn’t aspire to fulfil these traditional goals?

This world is filled with societal expectations and preconceived notions of success, and it’s easy to find yourself navigating a path that doesn’t truly align with your inner desires and ambitions. Must we follow this unwritten script—graduating, securing a job, getting married, having kids? That, too, within a certain timeframe?

'Twenty, thirty, the part in charge of those time-related concepts. It's the neocortex of the brain . . .

"Because I'm 20." "Because I'm 30." "Because I'll be 40 soon." The only species that confines itself to partitions of time like that is the human species. Only humans attack age as a weakness and spend money on it, and it causes them to spend emotions. It's the price we humans pay for having an evolved neocortex.'
—Nam Se-hee, Because This Is My First Life

What if we don’t have to adhere to the prescribed script of life? What if we take charge of our narratives and embark on unique journeys? These questions found answers when, drowning in an endless sea of overthinking and self-doubt, two unexpected saviours arrived in my life. The book Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up and the K-drama ‘Because This Is My First Life’ emerged out of the blue, like lifeboats, rescuing me.

In the book, Nell, a newly single woman in her 40s, returns to England and rents a room with a shared bathroom (the horror) from a male housemate. Nell’s situation is a stark contrast to that of her friends who are happily engrossed in their children’s school events and holidaying in the idyllic Cotswolds. Nell is making ends meet by using her savings and the loan from her father, all while working part-time as an obituary writer. She perceives herself to be a failure.

Meanwhile, in ‘Because This Is My First Life’, Yoon Ji-ho, a broke, 30-something writer, makes the decision to quit her writing career. She moves in with Nam Se-hee, a house-poor man in his late 30s, who offers her a room for a modest rent. Unbeknownst to both of them, this decision sets in motion a series of life-changing events that lead to profound growth, in turn, reshaping their futures in remarkable ways.

Both the book and the drama emphasize that people should not feel pressured to adhere to a specific timeline for milestones like marriage, career success, or home ownership. While I was spiraling, feeling less than, I was encouraged to embrace the idea that life is a unique journey for everyone. Whether you’re in your 40s like Nell or young adults like Yoon Ji-ho and Nam Se-hee, the message was the same—it’s okay to take the road less travelled and prioritize your happiness, rather than conforming to societal expectations. These two narratives reminded me that life is unpredictable and that success and happiness can be achieved at any age.

You do you!

Such stories inspire us to break free from the constraints of societal pressures and timelines, encouraging us to focus on what truly matters to us as individuals. These stories celebrate the idea that life’s greatest achievements are not bound by age or a prewritten script but by the pursuit of personal contentment and self-discovery. I hope to carry these lessons with me for the rest of my life.

I am a great believer in books finding their way to you just when you need them the most in your life. It’s as if the universe knows the wisdom and solace you need at the moment, and sends it in the form of a book. This time I experienced double the fortune, as the K-drama I was watching also aligned with the solace I was desperately seeking for.

It was a not-so-subtle sign from the universe, urging me to have faith in myself and forge my own path.

Unconventional Heroines: K-Dramas Featuring Women Challenging Social Norms

As today’s theme appears to revolve around social outliers, how about I suggest some K-dramas that feature trailblazing heroines? These remarkable series showcase female leads who possess the courage to defy the life’s conventional script and follow their hearts instead. These women don’t conform to traditional social norms and face unique challenges. With each K-drama, you’ll witness their unique stories of breaking free from societal expectations and showcasing strong character development.

Because This is My First Life

Yoon Ji-ho leaves her job as an assistant drama scriptwriter and faces pressure as she explores different career paths. Ji-ho is not alone in facing these societal challenges, as her friends, Soo-ji and Ho-rang also grapple with their own set of societal expectations.

Reply 1988

While the show doesn’t solely focus on the female lead, one of the main characters, Sung Deok-seon, is portrayed as slightly tomboyish. Furthermore, unlike her peers, she struggles academically and lacks clear aspirations.

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

In a world where weightlifting has been dominated majorly by men, this show depicts Bok-joo’s struggles as a female weightlifter. This series sheds light on the hurdles she encounters as a woman in this unconventional profession.

Summer Strike

After quitting her job in Seoul, Yeo-rum leaves the city behind and relocated to a serene seaside town. This show portrays Yeo-reum’s personal journey, focusing on the exploration of her internal struggles, motivations, and desires.

Fight for My Way

The drama focuses on four friends in their late twenties who are struggling to achieve their dream careers. Meanwhile, the female lead, Choi Ae-ra, stands out as she aspires to become an announcer and doesn’t conform to traditional expectations.

---

That’s all from me this Saturday. I’d love to know what you thought of this edition. If you have any feedback, please feel free to comment here or get in touch with me on Instagram.

Have a fabulous weekend.

Sláinte!